Undateable to Dateable in 3 steps

  • By Paul Numan
  • Posted 4 April 2022

Undateable to Dateable in 3 steps

The old cliche of getting a face transplant or mortgaging the house to buy a Lamborghini comes to mind with self labeled undateable singles; the key however is not on the extrinsic but on the intrinsic ideologies of social life. In the real world “there is” someone for everyone and it’s up to singles to get out there and present themselves to these people as often as possible to interact – no matter how you view yourself right now.  he concept of taking someone from undateable in their minds to dateable in a few steps is exactly that – a few steps.

Step 1 – Identify who you really are

Allocate 30 mins a day for a week to work on your core.  At the start of each session write down as many good, great and brilliant things about yourself and things you have done / achieved.  They can be minute or huge, it doesn’t matter, what matters is they are yours. Then visualize the feelings you felt but in the moment now – these should bring a smile to your face. Once smiling now focus on things you want and then imagine the feelings you will have once you have them “in the now”. Again they should bring joy and happiness. These workouts are just part of the overall law of attraction methodology, and will bring about change in the way you feel about yourself – the mindset is you are what you think you are. 

Step 2.1 – Understand the dating game

Start off by thinking that most people are socially programmed so there is a “right” way to engage with the majority of the people out there which will incur a positive result – you need to know these and learn them. From a woman’s perspective, the majority want men to be confident – so the key here for men is if you are not confident around women then fake it till you make it (acting if you will) but keep trying again and again with new people. Don’t focus on what you desire in the moment but more on being you and not giving a damn about the outcome. From a man’s perspective, they just seek their tribe, a person they can click with to have a fun time so it’s a lot easier for the ladies.

Step 2.2 – Less is most often enough

If you are totally clueless as to what to say or act around the opposiste sex then preparation is the key as if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Get out a piece of paper and visualize meeting someone in a shop and starting off the conversation with Hi, how are you? – from there you need to do your research and find out what works for you. The rule of thumb here is quite often saying less is just right as it shows your confidence and your ability to feel comfortable around silence. Also within your chat plan do not have so many questions as they make the other person feel like it’s a job interview. Try leading with statements like “love your red shoes” and wait for the other person to interact. Lastly on your chat planning it’s vital to remember that people love to talk so it’s your responsibility to open them up so they do. They will love you for this opportunity – as you listened.

Step 3 – Professional practice produces professional results

As the ex Man Utd legend Roy Keane always says “practice as you play” so never practice on something easy, get out there and practice on real people in the real world. An easier alternative to walking up to random strangers in the shopping centre and asking them out is to attend events where other singles are.  Katch www.katch.ie is a video dating app that matches people based on their personalities and brings them together in fun events.  Its core philosophy is that people gravitate to other people based on what they like about themselves “like attracting like” scenario. An example of this would be people who like to laugh also like to hang around people who are funny. This increases the likelihood of people connecting on a personal level with others much faster.

So to summarize;  people will see in you what you see in yourself so the only way forward is positive thoughts lead to positive outcomes. Every location is a possible meeting place for singles so you need a mental plan for every encounter. Confidence is key and each interaction needs a memorized chat plan that encourages people to open up and talk. Lastly, practice for real and practice a lot as the more you do the better and more relaxed you will become. You will make mistakes but you will learn fast – just remember your dating game and how great you are.
 

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